My sister and I have developed a theory about this woman. The theory has been road tested over the years and seems scarily accurate. After beating my head against the wall in frustration dealing with a business owner who loves to make my life hell (or so it seems), I had an "Aha" moment over the weekend and realized that I "know" her. She's one of these women.
Let me describe the women I'm talking about and see if they are familiar to you.
Nearly every encounter with her is negative. Depending upon where you stand in her personal rankings of importance, you may occasionally catch her being friendly, but know to be suspicious and stay on the lookout for the knife in the back that is sure to follow. There is no winning with her. She will always find some perceived flaw in everything you do. If you try to make her pleased or garner an encouraging word, you will fail every time. She may attempt to compliment you, but you quickly realize that it wasn't a compliment, but a thinly veiled insult or put down.
Women of this personality type may be somewhat varied, but their methods are surprisingly similar across the board. What they all have in common is this: these women are miserable! They are usually perfectionists who are so extreme in that absolutely nothing is ever good enough for their discerning eye. Because of this, they can never measure up to their own standards and therefore try to make everyone around them just as miserable as they are. Some do this rather unconsciously, but others derive their sole joy in life out of bringing others down to their level of misery.
Most of these women are unaware that they do this. If you asked them, they would probably say that they were happy. This is a part of their delusion. It's what gets them out of bed in the morning. Honestly, if you were this miserable, would you really be gung ho to start your day? Exactly.
The most frustrating thing is that they would rather wallow in their misery than try to take steps to improve their lives. What I've learned over the years is that the best way to handle these women is to ignore their surliness and to not take their outbursts personally. I just do what I have to do and try to not prolong the encounter but I don't avoid it either. I refuse to let them spoil my mood (if they are successful, I won't let them see it). If they steel my sunshine, then they win and I refuse to let them win.
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I've decided to send love to the people I mentioned in my last post who made my life miserable on Friday. One of them is of the above personality type. I'm a firm believer in the idea that "people need love the most when they deserve it the least." Because these people definitely do not deserve love, it's obvious that I should send it to them through the universe. I know that this method does work miracles, but I just want to find a positive way of seeing these pains in the ass!
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