It's Hot Outside!

Today once again, I struggled staying focused on work and not on other inconsequential things. I'm not sure why I can't seem to stay on track. I guess a lot of it is because of my financial concerns at the moment. I'm feeling MUCH better physically, but still unsure of how a 2nd job will fit in with school and my primary job (which I absolutely love!).

I'm creating quite a mess on the dating front. I've been talking to four different guys online, and am now down to three. One guy is a total sex addict and a bit wild in his tastes. I enjoy talking to him however and he does crack me up. Plus, a few walks on the wild side are always fun, at least for awhile! =) So... he called me last night all jealous because I have been unavailable the past couple of times he has called. Since I am honest about talking to others, he was afraid that he was being replaced. Hardly- just bad timing. We're hoping to eventually meet in person, but we are having trouble getting our schedules to mesh.

Besides the married guy I mentioned in my last post, I'm also emailing another married guy who is older. He is really conservative and just looking for a little fun and excitement in his otherwise plain vanilla life. He was pretty up front about this from the beginning and so I've told him that our relationship will never go beyond a friendship. I have yet to meet him in person, and really have little desire to beyond a slight curiosity. I'm content to just exchange long emails outlining our day and our thoughts on life. The one problem here is that he definitely wants more of a role in my life. He wants to be more than an email pen pal. He is jealous that I talk to other guys because he wants me all to himself. I disagree though. It's not fair to me (or his wife or kids) to take this further than it's current state.

Today I talked more to the "other" married guy. His emails and text messages are the bright spot in my day and he continues to crack me up and amaze me the more I learn about him. I am starting to get nervous about meeting him! I want to get my hair cut and colored, brows waxed, etc. I'm already starting to think about what I want to wear- this is sooo unlike me!

I wish I had someone to talk to about this- someone who has been there who can give me advice.