I'm done settling...

Okay, tomorrow starts a new year in my life and I've made a decision. I'm tired of settling! I'm tired of getting only crumbs from the guys I meet and settling for less than I deserve in my career and other parts of my life.

I had an Aha moment last night and again this afternoon. Last night I realized that once again, I will be dateless and sexless on my Birthday. Then this afternoon, as I'm trying to convey to my instructor why my resume sucks and why it's taken me 18 years to achieve a single bachelor's degree, he commented that I've really sold myself short in the past. Ouch!

but, he's right! Painful as it is to admit.

So, I deleted all the married guys and the Bi guy from my IM and Cell contact information. I'm just tired of their crap! I want more, deserve more, and refuse to waste my time on these guys any longer! I''m really proud of myself for doing this- it's a huge step for me! I'm sad that I've wasted so many years on guys who were sooo not worth my time and attention, but it's just what I had to go through to get where I am today, which is stronger and more confident and more independent. They also helped me realize what I didn't want and also helped me see what was lacking.

As for my jobs... that's tougher to solve. Basically I need to concentrate on finishing this semester and keep making contacts and networking. I also need to really work on doing a good job with my internship.



My professor suggested I continue on and work on a Master's degree and even look at a Graduate teaching position. What it boils down to is that I'm not right for this job, which is okay. The more I learned, the more I was questioning it anyway.

This experience has taught me that I really like what I'm doing now. It reaffirmed that I'm where I should be. I want to be open to any offers, of course, but this is really feeling right to me right now.

Now it's just a matter of timing and learning to juggle everything so I can give this job the focus and attention that it deserves.