In Search of some Inspiration? Check out this guy!

I haven't had a chance to post about this topic yet. Last week when I read that Randy Pausch had died, I was really upset. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach and I fought back tears. The odd thing is, I'd never met him- only read about him in the Wall Street Journal after he gave his speech at Carnegie Mellon and then saw updates about him on television.

His speech just really moved me. It inspired me to think about how I want to live my life and the legacy I want to pass on to those I leave behind. His spirit was totally infectious and I couldn't help wondering if I will ever find someone to love me like he adored his wife, Jai.

Just thinking about the family he left behind makes me really sad, but thanks to the internet they will someday be able to google their dad and see his speeches and read all the wonderful articles written about him in the past few months.

If you have missed out on the story of this guy, just google Randy Pausch (sorry, I'm too tired to try and find the link).

~~~

Speaking of the internet, I've been reconnecting with a lot of high school friends via Facebook. It's awesome being able to see pictures of their kids and reading about their lives. Anyway, tonight I discovered that a friend will be in town tomorrow to visit her family so I think we will try to do lunch. I haven't seen her in about 5 years! Thank God for Facebook or this wouldn't have been possible!!

Do you know this woman?

My sister and I have developed a theory about this woman. The theory has been road tested over the years and seems scarily accurate. After beating my head against the wall in frustration dealing with a business owner who loves to make my life hell (or so it seems), I had an "Aha" moment over the weekend and realized that I "know" her. She's one of these women.

Let me describe the women I'm talking about and see if they are familiar to you.

Nearly every encounter with her is negative. Depending upon where you stand in her personal rankings of importance, you may occasionally catch her being friendly, but know to be suspicious and stay on the lookout for the knife in the back that is sure to follow. There is no winning with her. She will always find some perceived flaw in everything you do. If you try to make her pleased or garner an encouraging word, you will fail every time. She may attempt to compliment you, but you quickly realize that it wasn't a compliment, but a thinly veiled insult or put down.

Women of this personality type may be somewhat varied, but their methods are surprisingly similar across the board. What they all have in common is this: these women are miserable! They are usually perfectionists who are so extreme in that absolutely nothing is ever good enough for their discerning eye. Because of this, they can never measure up to their own standards and therefore try to make everyone around them just as miserable as they are. Some do this rather unconsciously, but others derive their sole joy in life out of bringing others down to their level of misery.

Most of these women are unaware that they do this. If you asked them, they would probably say that they were happy. This is a part of their delusion. It's what gets them out of bed in the morning. Honestly, if you were this miserable, would you really be gung ho to start your day? Exactly.

The most frustrating thing is that they would rather wallow in their misery than try to take steps to improve their lives. What I've learned over the years is that the best way to handle these women is to ignore their surliness and to not take their outbursts personally. I just do what I have to do and try to not prolong the encounter but I don't avoid it either. I refuse to let them spoil my mood (if they are successful, I won't let them see it). If they steel my sunshine, then they win and I refuse to let them win.

~~~

I've decided to send love to the people I mentioned in my last post who made my life miserable on Friday. One of them is of the above personality type. I'm a firm believer in the idea that "people need love the most when they deserve it the least." Because these people definitely do not deserve love, it's obvious that I should send it to them through the universe. I know that this method does work miracles, but I just want to find a positive way of seeing these pains in the ass!

Hate your boss? Try having 50!

Have you been wondering how our event turned out on Friday? Where'd all that rain come from! So- block party plus rain= lame party.

By 4pm I was a bundle of stress. Things just kept going wrong! At 3pm the band was still trying to secure equipment rentals so they could play at 6pm! And for some reason I was needed to help negotiate this for them? I'm still puzzled at how I needed to get involved.

And just as I was dealing with all these merchants who were questioning the methodology of my map drawing for our Saturday event, I was running late to help set up for the party. I arrived just as it started to rain. Then 3 other merchants yelled at me for "excluding" them on the promo materials for Saturday. I tried to explain but tempers had already flared to the extent that any attempt at reason was futile. I was furious! It was just assumed that I did it on purpose or something!

I work for a group of 50 businesses! I work for all of them and try to help promote all of them! Okay, two of the 5 complainers were excluded in error- but it was fixable! Just give me a chance to make it right, right? It was ridiculous. It upsets me when people aren't willing to find a solution to the problem but would rather scream and yell and walk away without anything resolved. How does that fix anything? Sure venting makes you feel better in the short term, but did anything get solved? Yes, I left the party to go redo the map and have it reprinted. But, I would have done that anyway. But, it would have made everyone feel better if we could have avoided the big dramatic scene. Especially me.

Then the guy with the grill (remember him from the previous post?) canceled on me. No food for our crowd! Great... The band also canceled, but that was a bit more understandable. Electronic equipment + rain and lightning= charbroiled band members.

So after all of that, I just sat down and started drinking. I was done. Spent. Defeated. Mother Nature totally kicked my ass on Friday. On the bright side, the police men and firemen were very flirty and my new boss took me to dinner after the event was over since we were denied our grilled burgers and dogs.

The most telling example of how Friday went is this: while I'm away fixing the map that didn't need fixing, the hottie showed up at the party. To see me and I wasn't there. AAARRGGHH!

I was really bummed on Saturday when I was informed of this. But kinda glad he came anyway. Hmmm. More to come from him I'm sure...

~~~~

All of the drama has not left much time for my 2nd job or for anything else for that matter. I'm finally getting caught up a bit though. I actually took yesterday afternoon off and chilled at the pool. I'm sure I was snoring because I totally fell asleep! It was awesome actually. Very relaxing. I'm going to try to do that more often.

~~~~

I heard from the one married guy again tonight. I think the other one has finally given up on me. After I turned him down when he offered me money to pay bills a couple of weeks ago- EWWW! I've not heard anymore from him. I really didn't want to find out what "strings" might be attached to that offer and his response shows that it was obviously a conditional one. The money would've been nice, but that'd be like prostituting myself and I won't go there. Broke or not.

Anyway, I IM'd "P" to tell him that I've almost drank all the beer that he brought over way back whenever we first met. I have one left and told him that he needs to stop by again and bring more! This was purely out of curiosity to see what his response would be. He took the bait and we chatted a bit. He's preparing for another business trip so we'll be able to chat more frequently again. I know I should stay away, but he cracks me up and I enjoy chatting with him.

In just a 5 minute conversation, he had me totally laughing out loud. We just feed off each other's jokes like a comedy routine. It's really hilarious.

Can't believe I did it!

After some convincing from a guy friend of mine, I decided to go out by myself last night. As mentioned in a previous post, I really wanted to go see a local band play, but didn't have anyone to go with me. This totally played into a goal I set for myself years ago in which I determined things that I would need to learn to be comfortable doing all alone. Like if I'm going to be truly independent and "okay" with being single, I can't depend on others to hang out with. So, need to learn to eat out, go to the movies, travel by myself.

Since the cover charge was only $3, I decided that I would just go and try it and if I felt uncomfortable then I'd return home. So, I went, chatted with a cutie from North Carolina (are you shocked that he's only 23!), and then got hit on by the bouncer (he's my age). The bouncer screams bad boy. Tall, bald, tattoos, piercing, tough guy demeanor... you know he's probably a teddy bear beneath all that, but still... Anyway, I asked him to watch my drink for me while I went to the bathroom and he took it as hitting on him. Guys are sooo funny that way!

Now for the band... The opening act was really awesome! The lead singer was really cool too (met him after their set). And then finally, the reason for being there! Charlie and co. totally rocked out! I'll probably be tone deaf all day today, but don't care- I had a lot of fun! Also chatted with Charlie about how we "know" each other. It was cool.

For those of you who aren't up to speed, Charlie and I grew up in the same town. He's over a decade younger though and was in kindergarten when I was a Senior in High School. But, being such a small town, I know his parents and grandparents, etc. Charlie knows my younger brother really well (just a year apart in school) but knew of me, just didn't know I was such a fan of his band! Good Times.

~~~
Yesterday afternoon I got in on a discussion among some co-workers at my job. They were talking about marriage and what makes it successful. One guy theorized that the reason he and his wife stayed together versus others is that they do everything together. They are best friends and don't want to do stuff without each other. I will expand on this further in a future post, but found his comments interesting.

~~

I'm nervous for work today. Our big event is just hours away and I'm anxious to see if all the pieces fall into place and if we pull it all off. I'm sure it will go well, but it's nail-biting time!

The bitter and the sweet

It's kind of a cliche that you have to experience the bitter in order to appreciate the sweet. After the stress of last week, I'm kind of going with the flow so far the past few days. Okay, I've been adding names to my shit list, and become rather bitchy with flakes, flip floppers and other fools who keep trying to waste my time!

But, having planned several company events, picnics and fundraiser fetes, I know that it's so stressful in the days leading up to the big hoorah and there are times when it seems like you'd be better off just canceling the whole thing since nothing is going your way. And yet, somehow, someway, it all just comes together. There are minor hiccups at times, but the key word is minor and most are fixable. Everyone has a good time, you pull the damn thing off and are happy and content to know that it all came together. Or, in my case, that I won! That I managed to overcome all the things that conspired against me.

That's where I'm at today. Trying to stay positive, but it's becoming more and more difficult! At 5 pm today I found out that the vendor who was supplying a commercial BBQ grill for us to use to grill hamburgers and hotdogs for 300 people called to say that they couldn't get a grill and that they wanted to provide something else rather than the items already specified. The party is on Friday people!! If it were possible to strangle someone through a land line telephone, this man would be dead! I'm sure I didn't sound nice, but I told him that I cannot have him change everything now. But, I'm still stuck without a grill!! Grrrr... So much for taking the afternoon off tomorrow.

I really wanted to have a nice relaxing day at the pool, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen.

Interesting development. Since I've been spending so much time in the office lately, I keep running into a hot guy who works there. Not sure if he's gay or not, but he's really freaking cool! He's been helping secure a few details for me for this event so we've had to email a lot. Well, yesterday, rather than just replying to my email, he called me! And left his cell number! And then today he made a point to come see me in my office. He works in a different building and I've never seen him in my building! Hmmm. Seems like he's going out of his way to see me, donchya think? So... I'm excited to hopefully hang out with him more at the event on Friday. See him away from the office. Really not crazy about dating a sort of co-worker, but, definitely worth checking out anyway.

True story: when my best friend met him a few months ago, her first thought was that he's sooo the type of guy for me!

Well, my other job can't be put on hold while I put out fires and deal with difficult people, so I better put this post to bed. That, and my beer is getting warm. See, the title was appropo- blogging over beer! Mwah ha ha!

Loving the Single Life (well, most of the time)

I really like being single. I think that's a lot of the reason I've managed to dodge the "marriage bullet" all this time. Maybe a lot of it is fear too. I fear that marriage will lead to a loss of freedom, a loss of self, the realization of a grievous error in judgement and ending up more miserable than I already am at times.

That said, there are only a few occasions when being single, well, kinda sucks! Like holidays. Family reunions and times when you are around only married people who also have kids (Hey wanna see pics of my cats? ). It also sucks at times when you are the 3rd, 5th, 7th wheel- basically odd woman (or man) out. Most people are cool with this, but there are the occasional "don't you dare acknowledge my husband, Bitch!" chicks. And then, there are the things that you want to do that you can't/won't do alone and that your friends just don't want to do. Guy oriented stuff. Stuff that even a gay guy friend probably wouldn't enjoy either. Stuff like hang out at the local dive bar and drink cheap beer and shoot pool or cheer on the local team at the ballpark.

Having guys visit my house recently really reinforced how much I love to be single and how difficult it will be for me to adjust to being "coupled" if I ever meet the right person to couple up with. There's the stereotypical toilet seat thing and then having to share space when I'm used to sprawling across my bed. And then there's the whole, cleaning up after them thing. Since when am I their mother? I know it's my house, but isn't it polite to ask where the empty beer bottles go? Or offer to help clean up? Seriously guys!

So anyway, I'm totally bummed because I really want to go see a live band play, but the bar is kinda scary and I probably won't know anyone there, so I don't feel comfortable going alone. It really sucks! I'm hating it that the 23 year old guy lives so far away. He'd be a perfect candidate for this task! But, alas, it won't work to invite him... Dang it!

~~~
Today I talked to my family again about having my parents pick out a guy for me to date. I'm really thinking about this. I have such a horrible track record in attracting guys that I think this is a really viable option. Although I they have different criteria for choosing a guy (high on my mom's list: the guy must be Catholic and lack tattoos or piercings). None of these things are on my list, except maybe that I'd prefer he wasn't Catholic and prefer that he have tattoos and piercings.

I still stick to my assertion though that I'd like to meet a guy like my brother but a lot less "country." I met a really nice farmer Friday night (a guy a lot like my brother). He's single, cute, a great dancer and overall nice guy. But... he's a farmer and lives in a tiny town about an hour away. He reminded me a lot of a cowboy that I dated many moons ago, but I just can't go there... Not yet anyway.

Inspiration found in the most unlikely places...

I was on Facebook earlier checking out messages from friends when I stumbled upon a sticker that was really profound!

It said "Don't make someone a priority when they make you an option." WOW! I need to like cross-stitch that onto a pillow! Lol. I found the above cartoon just for laughs- really, haven't we all dated that guy? (or that girl, for that matter)

Anyway, it really made me think of all the times, past and present when I've made a guy a priority while he only saw me as an option. I meet a guy, I really really like him and jump through hoops to get him to like me too. I ignore all the guys who probably care, really like me and wish I would go out with them, all for some moron who is more in love with his own reflection or with the "ideal girl" he pictures in his dreams than with me!

Last night I spent some time with a guy I met a few months ago. At one point I thought he was a great guy who possessed a lot of the qualities I think I'm looking for. In the past few weeks though, I've realized how "off" my initial impression of him was! As if that wasn't enough, we fight like cats and dogs and yet, we still keep talking to each other. I haven't missed the drama and all the baggage he brings to the table, but last night I didn't care. I just wanted to feel, not think and touch, not talk. I know better now than to expect anything more from him but it was nice to know that he could be there when I needed him, at least once in awhile.

Earlier last night I was talking to a friend's mom. She was teasing me and said that my "picker outer is broken." This woman is truly prophetic, because she doesn't know me well, but really nailed it on the head with that comment!

~~~
Also today I stumbled upon an interesting post on mentalfloss that discusses the possible like between birth control use in women and the bad choices in men, specifically regarding infertility and even possibly divorce rates. It all has to do with pheromones and sense of smell. Very interesting idea and worth checking out.

The one thing that they don't address though is whether a good mate based on biology is also a good mate based on psychology? Can sense of smell lead you to the guy who is the best match for your personality quirks and future life goals? Have we all been screwing it up by wearing perfume/cologne/scented lotions, etc. and gasp! taking birth control and altering how biology is supposed to work? I didn't check, but somehow I suspect that a "pro-life" group was behind the study... lol

Writing Your Life Story

Driving down the street yesterday I saw a quote on a billboard that said, in essence, "you are the author of your own life story." Wow! It really got the wheels turning...

Since I am at a point in my life that I have no idea what the future will bring and have so many things "up in the air," it really made me stop and think.

Revisions aren't possible in this story. Are there things you would go back and rewrite if you could? Also, kind of like the process of writing- does the story end how you predicted it would when you started?

Does your life story involve suspense, elaborate plot twists that leave the reader hanging to find out what happens next?

And, when do we know that we are finished writing? When is the story done? Is it death that signals "the end" or is it something else? Happily Ever After? Until Next Time...

So as I'm thinking about it I kind of like this idea. You know there are probably things I'd edit or revise if I were writing my own story, but for the most part the experiences make the story all the richer. They add an unexpected element, comic relief, drama, and even a few moral lessons too.

And not knowing how it will all end is part of the fun, isn't it? The anticipation, the suspense... I hate watching movies where you know how it will end before it even begins. It's kind of like- why waste my time here? Nothing to learn- been there, done that, got the shirt. Ya know? I recently had a relationship like that as well. I knew what was gonna happen after a week of knowing him. I predicted we'd at least stay friends which didn't happen, but otherwise I was correct in predicting that it would implode very quickly (5 weeks!).

So... I'm kind of excited at all the unknown. I am realizing that I do need to set some goals for where I'd like to be financially, career-wise, health-wise, etc. But, at the same time, I do know that every time I've fully plotted out a timeline of goals, the best laid plans get all blown to hell by some unexpected event.

Like working in my last HR job. I was so sure it was the right thing for me, was so excited, started making plans of how other things were going to fall in to place in my life and BAM! I got laid off 6 months later. And then spent another 6 months unemployed. So much for that plan, huh?

But, the struggle of that time allowed me to re-evaluate a lot of things and glean what was truly important. And most of all, it stripped away all the excuses of why I kept putting off finishing my bachelor's degree.

So... I say relish the thought of blank pages yet to be written! Turn the page and see where the story takes you.

Finally!

Sorry, it's been a few days since I've had a chance to post something new. I have been busy preparing for an exam and then had company from out of town. Now, I'm trying to dive back into my life after the past couple of hectic days.

I've come to a realization the past few days though. I'm finally getting my groove back. Yeah, like "Stella" in that movie. No, I didn't just go through a harrowing divorce and find a boy toy in Jamaica, but I survived 5 years of illness that threw my life out of whack and met a boy toy from another city. lol.

I'm finally feeling like I'm back to where I was before I got sick. I don't feel like the cloud of illness is obscuring the sunny parts of my life and making me afraid to play for fear of the game being called due to rain. The sky is one giant rainbow for me right now! I wonder if I can find the pot of gold? Hmmm.

As for the "boy toy" it's really strange. He's like me. It's making me question exactly how immature I am if I can relate to someone who is 12 years younger as well as I can him. But, rather than try to intellectualize this, I'm just enjoying having fun and going with the moment. My family and friends thought I was absolutely insane to invite this guy to come stay at my house, when all I knew was from talking online. But, I've done similar things back in the day- I'm just a risk-taker I guess. Anyway, I trusted my judgement and everything was fine. As for what he sees in me- the old lady? For one thing, I look closer to his age than my own. Being a college student and single means that I live more like a typical college kid rather than someone my own age. So... it works! Plus he thinks I'm beautiful and sexy and he's absolutely adorable! What's not to love? See, it is like Stella!

The thing that really stinks is that he lives 3 hours away. Not exactly conducive to relationship/friendship development. I mean with $4 gas, school, and both of us working 2 jobs. What the hell? But, why not? There's always IM'ing and TM'ing. I just need to get a webcam and mic so he doesn't forget what I look like! lol.

The "boy toy" had never visited my city, so I was excited to be the local ambassador and tour guide to the cool things we have here. It was fun to see the city through new eyes and show off the things that I think make this place great. He really enjoyed the visit and I think he'll come back since there is so much more to see and do here.

And, because of him I tried something new too! I took him to a restaurant for Sushi. I've always wanted to try it, but wanted to be with someone who could guide me in what's good. It was awesome! Will definitely be returning for that!

Yesterday I had a couple of work meetings that reinforced why I love my job. Yes, I was really frustrated last week with how annoying the administrative part can be, but overall- what a great place to be! It was just what I needed to make me love what I do again and feel really good about where I am at career-wise and in my life in general.

Hmmmm

I had an interview today for a PT position in my chosen field. It was a rather informal meeting in that I already know the people I would work for, it's just discussing what they are looking for and whether or not that interests me.

It sounds really awesome! I'm a huge fan of their business and know a couple of their employees already, but the issue is money. Always something, right? I had a figure in mind of what I feel I'm worth on the market and they have a figure of what they can pay this position and the two are not really close.

So... it's hard. I really want to do this. I really need to get a 2nd job, but if I'm still in the hole each month (although less than I am currently, then am I really gaining anything?). And, the fringe benefits that are involved like real world experience in my field and the potential for college credit- how much is that worth? How do you quantify the value of these additional things?

The consesus among my friends has been - duh! Go for it. I'm leaning toward that because there are no guarantees that I will be able to find something that pays better.

~~~~~~

This afternoon I had a dream and in my dream, my grandparents appeared. It's been a long time since I've had a visitor from beyond, but the main theme was the same. My grandparents were in the car- on their way somewhere and stopped by to say "Hello." I was surprised to see them, as they were me. My grandma just looked at me and said "I know that you are confused right now, but hang in there, it will all make sense very soon."

Then I woke up with tears in my eyes. I think that she said something else, but that's all I remember. It's been over 10 years since she last came to me in a dream to give me a message. Last time I was really down and dreamed I had committed suicide. She came to me and told me that everything was going to be okay.

Has this ever happened to you? Isn't it bizarre? Do you really take heart that the message is really important somehow, just because of the method in which it was received? It really impacted me then and again today.

Then, to really freak me out further, I was skimming the blog "divine Caroline" and stumbled upon a post by someone talking about how her grandfather keeps haunting her dreams! Coincidence? Somehow, I don't think so. But, I was too freaked out to read further than the headline!

Well, all I can say is that I hope that this all makes sense very soon!

School Schmule... flirting is waaay more fun!

I finally recovered from partying Thursday night. It's been a weird weekend. My FWB has officially unfriended me. I think it's kind of funny because I have no idea what I said or did to send him over the edge. I just told him I'm tired of fighting all the time. Really, it was getting old and his drama? No thanks...

Anyway, while researching an internet start up idea that the married guy suggested, I met a cutie from KC! We've been chatting a lot the last couple of days and he's coming to visit me next week! This morning I had a moment of panic wondering if that was smart... I don't know this guy and he's coming to stay at my house? I always trust my gut though and I think it's cool.

He's just sweet, funny and adorable as hell! And he really digs me too! Bonus!! So, now I'm wondering what my friends and family will think. He's sooo young! Okay, I'm not a pedophile, he's at least of age, but still- I'm venturing into Demi and Ashton territory here.

Which raises the question- how old do you have to be to become a cougar? Is it over 40? Or is it more a matter of the age difference between you? If that's the case, I've probably joined the club. If I have to be over 40, I'm okay.

So, spending all this time flirting has prevented me from studying. I sooo need to study too. I have a test next week and things are not going well. I'm really struggling. Since this is my most hated subject, it's way too easy to think of other things to do like scrub the shower, clean the litter box, vacuum out my car... yeah maybe I need to go to the library!

To continue my new trend of passing along cool stuff I've found on the web, I want to share a picture of an art technique called "reverse graffiti." The images are sandblasted into the sides of buildings, rail cars and other public surfaces that are covered with the grime and soot of urban living. The artist's name is moose. You can find a profile of Moose and his art at http://.reversegraffitiproject.com.

I just don't get it...

Okay, I feel the need to rant. Please forgive me but I'm hungover and didn't get much sleep last night, so I'm kinda cranky!

But, this is something that has bugged me since I dumped the guy I thought I'd marry, circa 1997! I don't get what guys look for in a girl to settle down with! I'm not your typical chick, which I always thought would be to my advantage, but now... I'm thinking that I need a personality transplant!

I like sports, beer, cigars, hate feeling tied down in a relationship. I like to have separate friends and interests than my beloved and don't feel the need to spend every waking moment together. I like sex (a lot) and know what I like and how to ask for it (or get it on my own!). I'm cool with my man hanging with his buds, even if they go to a strip club as long as it's not an every day thing. What's not to love? And yet... I'm just seen as a friend or a playmate and not girlfriend material or more. I'm frequently accused of being a heart breaker or a player. Is this how I come across? Is my light hearted attitude toward relationships perceived as being less than sincere?

I'm not the kind of girl who "needs" to have a boyfriend. My self-worth is not measured by who I am dating. I do not ditch my friends for whatever the flavor of the week is. I hate how girls have their little "cliques" and don't get the whole go together to pee thing, and still I'm not datable?

I will be honest and say that I am a big time flirt. Maybe that's where a lot of this comes from. Maybe I appear to always be looking for the next fun thing, but it's rarely the truth.

I'm still trying to figure out what happened with the married guy. What I did or said that caused him to leave a silhouette shape in my door from running away so fast. Update: he is somewhat communicating again. Baby steps... And still, I wonder if he's too conservative for me. I at least want to get to know him better though and have the chance to find out.

Hopefully I can figure out where I'm going wrong before I become the dating pariah in the nursing home!

Feeling Patriotic

Okay, I'm not going to bust out the karaoke machine and start singing "Proud to be an American" but really, I am. Like Obama, I don't wear a flag pin every day, but the feeling is there nonetheless. In my past career I had the opportunity to interact with a lot of recent immigrants to this country. Once you get to know these people who have sacrificed so much to come to this country for the promise of a better life for them and their family and then who continue to work hard and sacrifice even more to help support family members who are still in the home country, well... you start to see America with fresh eyes.

I think that's enough sap for today, so while you all fight back indigestion I'm going to share the coolest website I've found in awhile. It's some what related to the theme in that, if we truly love our country, we must do everything we can to protect our natural resources and learn to be less dependent on the resources of other countries (like oil). Please forgive me while I still try to figure out how to create a hyperlink on this site... I should've paid more attention in class while we were learning all this stuff!

Okay the site is http://unscrewamerica.org/

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful holiday! I'm not sure what my plans are at this point. Probably just enjoy the extra day off work and do whatever strikes my mood at the time!

Happy Hump Day

Is it really Wednesday? Wow. What the hell happened to Tuesday? And Friday is a holiday, so technically it's kind of Thursday! Yeah!!

I've been a networking fool today, visiting with Merchants and emailing prospective employers to maintain the relationships I've developed with them so hopefully they will hire me next year. I spent so much time doing that today that now tonight I get to stuff envelopes for a mailer that really should have been postmarked today, but will go out tomorrow instead. Uggh. Oh well, I'd rather watch tv and do it than sit in my office. Just when I forget that I'm a glorified secretary, a task like this comes along that helps snap me back to reality and remind me of why I'm going to school.

Well, I initially started this blog as a method of sharing information with my network of family and friends in an easier format than sending emails from 6 different addresses and maintaining pages on 2 different social networking sites. But, I got preoccupied with my love life and forgot.

So, today I'm going to try to balance the two a bit better. First off, the picture at the top of this post is of what is called a Newspaper Blackout Poem. I found this artist profiled on another site and loved this idea! So simple, beautiful, thought provoking and well... judge for yourself! http://www.austinkleon.com/category/newspaper-blackout-poems/ My favorite is the one that is at the bottom of the main page about the girl holding books. The couple on the tandem bike is also quite beautiful. Really, how does he come up with these things? Wow...

The foods we crave and the sex we like...

I think I'm getting "let down easy." After last night, the married guy is having second thoughts, cold feet... I want to chase him, convince him to give me another chance, and all of that but I know that I can't. He has to work this out for himself, and maybe he truly wasn't attracted to me in person? Only time will tell.

I've been talking to "my guys" a lot lately about sex and using food analogies. It all got me to thinking about how best to explain the need for novelty and variety and try new things without sounding like a complete slut, commitment phobe or player.

So, I thought about how everyone has their favorite comfort food. For me it's meat and potatoes or pasta. I like a lot of different foods and sometimes crave Asian stir fry or Cajun spice, but I don't eat them every day. I think that at times you are in a "phase" where you experiment with new foods. Either you go out and explore new restaurants or you stay home and try a new recipe.

Sex is very much the same way. Not everyone has the need or means to eat out every day. Many people cook at home to save money and to maintain that sense of family and home. Many cooks (and sex partners) get bored with the same old, same old recipes and long to change things up and try something new.

I really enjoy cooking, but rarely have someone to cook for and the leftovers get old quick! So, as a single girl, I eat out a lot, but I usually eat at the same handful of restaurants over and over. Once in awhile I'll try something new, but when I'm hungry, I usually think of the favorites first.

My approach to sex is exactly the same! The novelty and newness of the past few weeks has been fun! But, at the end of the day, I just long for the ability to cook my favorite comfort foods at home and have someone to share them with. All the exotic foods are tasty, but steak and potatoes are always satisfying.