What are you Selling?

Today I had a couple of interviews for a management training program. I usually know when I walk out whether I have the job or not and today I wasn't sure, so I'm thinking that I didn't quite wow them.

As I've been searching the web and the want ads trying to find SOMETHING that I'm not too overqualified for and SOMETHING that gets me excited, I find myself looking at sales jobs. And then I realize that I don't have the requisite 2-3 years experience that most of the entry level positions require.

Then I think, "Wait a minute, I've got sales experience!" I've been selling myself, my ideas and my company (when I worked in HR) for a long time! Think about it.

Isn't an interview really a Sales presentation? Isn't a first date also the same thing? You present your product/service (you, your interests/abilities/qualifications) and hope that your prospect will buy.

Yesterday I attended a career fair on campus. It was humbling to note the number of fellow grads who were there doing the "Pick Me! Pick Me!" dance too. I realized that I am not the only one who is struggling.

Finally I'm beginning to feel better. It's been a month of taking my meds as prescribed and eating healthier (no more just toast for lunch and dinner). I really allowed the dark clouds to get thick before I sought help.

A few weeks ago I realized that things were getting bad when I found myself thinking about what I would wear for my funeral. Yes people, I was upset that I didn't have an appropriate outfit to wear when I'm dead. I quickly realized that most rational people do not think about these things. After all, aren't these decisions made without input from the deceased? Anyway, I want to be cremated so the outfit dilemma is really a moot point. So, as I talked myself through that, I realized that I hadn't been out of my apartment in days except to run to the mailbox or take the cat out for a quick sniff of the grass. So, I drove to my bff's house and she freaked out on me. She was really scared and upset because she had thought of stopping by to check on me but had been too busy.

The bff and her husband offered to let me move in with them for awhile until I get back on my feet. They really wanted me to get out of the dark cave that my apartment had become and stay at a place where sleeping all day isn't allowed (they have small children) and there is someone around to check on me and keep me motivated. As much as I hated to impose, it really made a lot of sense. So, for the past few weeks I've been getting used to my new home and trying to establish a routine and set goals for my future.

School's Cool and Life's Good

I'm finally starting to get into the swing of a new semester (last one!) and juggling two jobs. It's been really challenging, but as long as I keep my calendar with me at all times and write everything down, I think I'll be okay.

A new semester always makes me happy. I love learning new subjects and just the intellectual "high" I get from school. Whenever I've had to sit out a semester or two, I've always missed it. And yet, by midterm I'm ready to be done already and go on to a new class, new topic or something more fun and less demanding. I know I'm a total nerd but I still get excited about buying shiny new notebooks, folders and pens at Target- just like I did as a kid! Spending $400 on textbooks is rather painful, but hopefully I can resell them and get enough back for a couple of Christmas gifts.

Speaking of demanding- this semester is really going to test my mettle! I'm realizing how much of a time commitment a couple of these classes are going to require and I'm a bit nervous.

~~~

A year ago I was really struggling. I had just been laid off from a temporary job that was supposed to run through the fall, but ended early. I was somewhat thankful since the office politics were positively toxic! To top it off, the manager was the type who didn't want to be the "heavy." She wanted to be everyone's friend and tried everything she could think of to avoid conflict.

Plus my direct supervisor really hated me and no matter how I tried, I could never win her over. She resented my presence from Day One.

It was the vortex of a really tough time for me. I was really depressed and didn't see a way out of the storm. All I could manage to do was sleep.

Thankfully, I got through it and my family and friends stood by me while I floundered.

Although my energy level has dropped a bit (not still functioning at that high strung girl on crack sort of pace-THANK GOD), but when I look back to where I was a year ago, I've still come a long way.

I am truly grateful to all who have continued to support me emotionally and even financially at times the past year and a half. At times even I wondered if I was worth it!

I feel like I'm just now starting to figure out who I am and grow into the adult I'm supposed to be. It's been a very long and painful road. But, I've also had way more fun than any one person should be allowed and learned sooo much about myself and all the awesome people and things on this planet!

Life's Good!