Can I just be happy for a moment?

So far the week has started out quite well! Spent Sunday at the farm helping my niece celebrate her 3rd Birthday. The celebration was postponed due to the weather the weekend before. Lots of fun seeing the kids and my dad was civil. Difficult for him right now I know, but I'm thankful that he made the effort to not spoil every one's day.

This morning I had an interview at a local restaurant for a server position. I've actually never technically worked as a server, but I managed to talk myself into the interview and got the job! Okay, they hired me as hostess and server trainee but still. I Got a Job people! Yippee!

So I called my sister to let her know and she can't let me be happy for even one moment. She just reminds me that I'll need to work 2 jobs in order to get back on my feet financially. Like duh! As if I did not know this already. I'm living with my extremely generous bff and her family because I'm homeless and I printed off the bus schedules yesterday so I can figure out how to get to and from my job since it's too far to walk. Yeah I'm completely oblivious to my situation here.

I understand that it's probably difficult for those around me to be supportive and I'm sure they can't comprehend what I'm going through right now but I'm always so there for everyone else. I bust my ass to be their biggest supporter and cheerleader and once in awhile it would be nice to have a little in return.

No this job isn't quite my dream job. I didn't spend 3 years at WSU to be a greeter or serve people chips and salsa all day, but it's still a job. It's a small step in the right direction. Can't that be enough, for at least today?

Okay enough ranting...

I was pleased and slightly embarrassed to discover that my humble ramblings have been noticed by Douglasandmain. Writing this blog is a lot like writing in my diary. I write it for my friends to know what I'm going through, but I don't really think about other people reading it. Since I've tried really hard to be anonymous, I cringe to think of who might know who I am. Especially when I think about some posts from last Summer. Anyway, the recognition made me thankful that I've concealed the identity of others mentioned here. I write my thoughts and feelings rather unconsciously and would hate to be sued for defamation or something.

What's Beautiful?

Sorry, this blog is in dire need of some artistic inspiration! I've been so preoccupied with my man dramas and life crisises that I've been holding out on my loyal readership! All one of you- if you are still reading.

How do you define beautiful? This came up tonight in a meeting to discuss revitalizing our downtown neighborhood. How do we determine what is acceptable? How do we convince business owners to clean up their property? Do we make money available to them to help in this task? Do we set standards for frontage, signage, etc. and force landowners to comply? And, how do we define all of this? Do we want to go for sterile, cookie-cutter or is some eclecticism okay? I got into a debate with a board member one day about this. One of the businesses across the street from his has a hand painted building. It has a wild mural on the side and is brightly painted to draw attention and decorate the rather plain brick building. The board member finds this absolutely distasteful whereas I find it cool, fun and charming. I think it adds a unique element to the neighborhood. Where their building doesn't have cool architectural detail, they've added their own, through paint!

My approach to all things aesthetic is the same way. I like offbeat, quirky, unique things. Most of the men I've found attractive weren't conventionally handsome either. Most have some outstanding, quirky feature, whether it's a big nose, Dumbo ears, etc. Many times, I failed to notice these "flaws" until someone else "kindly" pointed them out to me.

That's what I like about things in nature, such as the flowers pictured above. From a distance, they all look the same, but up close, the little idiosyncrasies reveal themselves.

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Anyway, I'm looking forward to Final Friday next week- seriously, where did August go? I have a couple of friends who are having shows and I've missed doing the Crawl for a couple of months. Hopefully the weather will cooperate.


Here are links to local artists that I have seen recently. http://leeshiney.com/ and http://stephanielondon.com/.

The above photographs were found on 37 Signals' website. I found them absolutely beautiful! They are pictures of Orchid Mantis plants.

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It's one week until my Birthday. I've been so busy, that I've nearly forgotten! I need to make a plan to celebrate with friends and sit down and do my "year in review" that I perform every year. Rather than be like everyone else and do the navel gazing and existential thinking on New Year's Day (usually too hungover), I prefer to do it on my Birthday. It seems more natural to ponder the past year and tally achievements and set goals for the coming year at that time.

With school starting in a couple of days though, I've just been too busy! I've had to scrap the whole "Sweet 16 Part deux" idea since I don't have time to clean or do laundry let alone host a party! But, I was reminded that 37 is the first irregular prime number while watching tv over the weekend, so... maybe I should wait and throw myself a big bash next year. That could be fun.

Talking to "V" has made me realize how out of balance my life has become once again. I haven't had time to even think about dating, let alone anything fun for a while now. As I look at my schedule once school starts and think about how I'm going to work work in around school, there is little time left for fun or even studying! But, it's just a few more months. Sigh...

It's gonna be worth it in the end, right? I kind of feel like the guy from that commercial "Time to make the donuts..."